


The Corvid That Chases the Greener Grass

by ActuallyAndroid



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Angst, F/M, Jealousy, M/M, also big spoilers!, fails, it's not that deep fam, ryuji does not like akechi, ryuji tries not to be jealous all the time, summary and title are way too extra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 06:23:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11685882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActuallyAndroid/pseuds/ActuallyAndroid
Summary: Maybe it was a stupid decision, but if it meant saving his life, you don't think you regret it.





	The Corvid That Chases the Greener Grass

Things feel groggy.

What are things? Your limbs: hands, legs, arms, chest. Your head feels like it's swimming and you’re struggling to tell up from down. There’s something heavy on your stomach too, and you kind of want to shake it off but you don’t even have the strength to open your eyes, let alone move your body. If you’re honest, you don’t think you’ve ever felt worse in your entire life.

(Besides, there’s this awful snoring noise and you hope to God it’s not you or you’ll never live it down.)

You feel something to your right move. It’s enough to make your muscles tense reflexively. Strength returns to you slowly, at least enough to let you lift your eyelid up and be flooded with an immediate flash of white, that you later figure out is the ceiling of the hospital room you’ve spend the entirety of your induced coma in. There’s a pain in your wrists. You still feel kind of shitty – like you’ve in the middle of the world’s objectively worst hangover.

“God, I feel awful,” you mumble, barely loud enough to make sense of, and whatever is at your side stills for a second.

“Oh, thank God,” you hear. It’s Akechi, you can tell from his voice. Twisting your neck to face him sends a sharp jolt of pain down your spine, and suddenly you’re aware that your entire back feels like it’s bruised. There’s still that weight on your stomach too, and when you realise that the thing on your stomach is sleeping (and is probably coincidentally the thing that was snoring before) you can put it down to the soft, tired face of your boyfriend, Ryuji, who confessed to sometime ago in October.

They’re the only two people in the room, not including you.

“Thank God you’re alright,” Akechi repeats. He leans over your chest, eyes shut in a way that looks about as relieved as much as it looks pained. His hair brushes over your skin.

“Yeah,” you say, partially because speaking is much more labour intensive for the first few seconds of your awakening than you remember it being. That sword really did a number on you.

“I was – I...” Akechi starts. It doesn’t look like he can finish the sentence. He leans over you and he looks so, so tired, glazed eyes flushed with the pink of bloodshot veins. You didn’t realise he was holding your hand before, but you’re made aware of it when his grip gets tighter. Akechi shakes his head, and his hair trails over your skin gently again.

“I’m so sorry,” is all he can say.

He doesn’t look very good. There’s a greasy flop to his locks that makes you think he probably hasn’t washed his hair, and the bags under his eyes are so prominent they actually sag. It feels a bit weird, because you still aren’t sure what to think of him after the whole pancake fiasco. The whole team made a mutual decision not to trust him, and even despite consciously trying to be nice to him despite that, you think you’ve been pretty good at keeping an emotional distance.

But there’s none of that now. He looks distraught, and the whole situation is made even stranger considering your boyfriend is sleeping on your stomach right now, barely a foot away.

“It wasn’t your dumb idea to jump in front of that attack, don’t worry,” you say.

Again, Akechi shakes his head. His genuine distress is a little shocking. It's more like what talking to Akechi used to be like when the two of you were alone, just joking around, and before you told the group you and Ryuji were dating.

“The bastard’s just jealous,” Ryuji had said, when you came to him and confessed that Akechi’s change in behaviour bothered you. You didn't take his advice to heart back then; because as much as you cared for Ryuji, you knew he had issues with jealousy, and it made you think he was probably just projecting. Besides, he hated Akechi. Still does.

“I'm telling you, there's something really shady about that guy,” he would say, whenever Akechi left earshot.

Maybe he was right back then, but not anymore. There’s none of that fakeness now. You don’t even think it’s possible that someone can fake eyebags, or bloodshot veins, or shaking. Oh God, his hands are shaking.

“No. If I was more careful, it wouldn’t have ever happened.” His admonishment seems practised, and a little dramatic, if you're being honest. You’re not even dead, really, even if you did cut it kind of close.

It strikes you as quite likely that Ryuji gave him a piece of his mind after you passed out. He’s a great boyfriend, but you doubt that his hot-headed combination of overprotectiveness for you and general distaste towards Akechi spelled out anything at all good for the detective.

“Has Ryuji chewed you out?” You ask. Slowly, you lift your hand up to put it in Ryuji’s hair, and the IV drip coming out of your wrist jangles a little. “He’s just gets carried away you know. Don’t take anything he says to heart.”

Akechi looks at him, at the way your hands fondle with his blond hair. There’s a scowl on his face that definitely wasn’t there before, and you can’t tell if it’s just because he disagrees with what you’re saying or –

“No, your partner… Ryuji was right. It was my incompetence at fault here.”

Akechi lets go of your hand. He looks more closed off, as though he’s just remembered his fortitude. It makes you kind of worried for him, like he's gonna bottle it up until the whole issue is gonna come back to bite you in the ass.

“Please. If anyone’s to blame, it’s Akira. I like him as much as the next guy, but he’s been way too lax ever since Morgana got Samarecarm.”

You notice Akechi staring at your chest, and it makes you want to pull the covers up over yourself before you realise he’s probably just looking at where you were pierced with a sword. “Not every attack will knock someone out, after all,” you continue, “I think he needs to remember that.”

It doesn’t really hit you that you were close to death. Feels like nothing more than another injury, only difference is being carried to the hospital in a state of consciousness that flipped you between dead and half-dead at will. You can still remember the feeling of being carried by Ryuji, but you think you must have blacked out a couple of times on the way – because there are big blanks in your memory you can’t fill by thinking about them.

“Akira has trust in his team members,” is all Akechi says. It feels like he's disagreeing with you, but it's not specific enough to be able to say why. You try to think about it in silence for a bit, but eventually it tires you out and you just give up.

Akechi is the next one that speaks, but it comes out so debilitated you think he spent the entire silence trying to pep talk himself into asking it.

“Why?” he asks, and you never thought a single word could carry so much weight to it.

“Why do I think Akira should be more careful?” you ask.

“No.” Akechi looks at Ryuji, and then back at you. “Why did you do it?” he asks.

You can't answer it immediately. If anything, you're more confused than he is, because at least he doesn't know that the entire team suspects him. You gave your life to someone you don't trust.

“I just wanted to,” you say.

It shouldn't be a satisfactory answer, but Akechi’s heart flutters pathetically in his chest (like you care for him and just don't want to admit it; like he's ever had a chance,) and he doesn't press the issue. 

“I see.” He smiles brightly. “If you'll let me be a little selfish, however, next time I think I'd just prefer to take the hit. Your boyfriend is a force to be reckoned with when he's angry,” he laughs gently.

“Oh, I bet.” You laugh too, and the shaking must be what finally wakes Ryuji, because you feel him stir on your stomach.

“Speak of the devil,” you say, when his arms tighten around you.

Ryuji hums, and rubs his head sleepily against your stomach. He's always been slow to wake.

“Ryuji~” you sing, and stroke his hair. You want to turn to Akechi and make some sort of quip at Ryuji's expense, but Akechi is glaring absolute daggers at him when you look, and the contrast between it and his last smiling expression surprises you so much you turn hastily back to your boyfriend, eyes wide.

You try to continue stroking his hair, like nothing ever happened.

“Babe, five more minutes,” he mumbles.

Playfully, you poke his head, and he lifts his head back up with a whine. He yawns loudly and rubs the sleep out of his eyes before looking at you properly.

“M’rning,” he mumbles again.

You try to tune Akechi out, but you can still remember his expression and honestly it scares you a little.

“You're safe,” Ryuji says, still slurring his words a little. “Missed you. Was scared.” He hugs you tightly, and he yawns once more, before finally sitting up. “How r’you feeling?”

“Awful, to be honest,” you say.

He looks you over, and his eyes are a little raw and puffy. You think either he's been crying, or that was a  _really_ good nap.

“Man, you never gotta pull shit like that again, y’hear?” He rubs his eyes again. “I've never been so scared in my entire life.”

It's then that he notices Akechi, and it wakes him up the rest of the way. “Ugh. What's he still doing here?” he asks, glaring at him.

When you turn to look, Akechi’s expression is soft and regretful. It makes you wonder whether you imagined the ugly mess of emotions swirling on his face the last time you looked.

“Ah, my apologies. I'll take my leave and let you two be," he says, and you see him begrudgingly stand up.

“Nah, it's alright, Ryuji. He just felt bad,” you say, before you can stop yourself. “You can stay if you want, Akechi.”

“He should feel bad. It's his damn fault you had to save his sorry ass.”

“Ryuji!” You slap his shoulder.

“Ow! What the hell was that for?”

“It was my stupid-ass decision to jump in front of him, not his.”

Ryuji winces a little, like he knows you're right. He just doesn't like Akechi and he likes letting him know.

“Whatever. Is he gonna leave or not? I wanna go take a piss, but I'm not gonna leave you with him.” Ryuji stands up to stretch. Although Akechi looks worse, Ryuji looks pretty bad too. Now that he's in better lighting, those puffy eyes are definitely from crying, and his hair is mussed in more directions than you can count.

“It's quite alright, I'll just-” Akechi starts, but you cut him off.

“We'll be fine Ryuji. I'm not gonna start making out with any guy I'm in a room with.”

Ryuji leans down to look you straight in the eye. For a second, you understand the people in school who stay away from him under the impression he's thug, because quite honestly, his pose is like something straight from a yakuza film.

“You can keep it in your pants, right Akechi?” you ask, trying to make light of the situation.

Akechi stumbles a bit with his words before he stutters out, "yes, naturally.”

Ryuji looks him over for a second, like he's trying to apply himself as a human lie detector. When he's satisfied, he turns towards you, grasping your chin and tilting your head towards him, before closing his eyes and kissing you. There's something in his face that makes him look like a lovestruck fool when he pulls away, like all he wants to do is move in closer for another kiss.

“You're too nice for your own good. You know that right?” He says, and steals another quick peck from you.

When the two of you are done, Ryuji pulls his hood over his head and gives Akechi one last glare before stuffing his hands into his pockets and strutting out.

Akechi sighs with relief.

“Sorry,” you say, bashfully. “He's got some jealousy issues; we're still working through them.”

“No, no, it's quite alright. I would be the same,” Akechi says, and immediately winces.

(‘If I was in his position, I would never let you out of my sight,’ he thinks.)

You seem to pick up something iffy on his response from the way your expression shifts, but he's thankful you leave it be.

“Have you ever had a partner, Akechi?” You ask him. He shakes his head.

“Really? The Great Detective Akechi has never ever been in a relationship? Not even once?”

Akechi laughs knowingly, like it's a question he's been asked before. You think it probably has been.

“Well, I suppose work always got in the way.” The smile he puts on fits his face perfectly. It's humble, sweet, and all-round gorgeous. His TV smile. You're talking to the famous detective now.

“We can't have that. We should go out and there and get you meeting people. Maybe when this whole thing blows over we could all go to a nightclub as the ex-Phantom Thief crew.”

There must be something that surprises him in your suggestion, because he flinches in confusion before the smile is back.

“I'm sure they'd much rather go alone than escort me. I'm afraid I don't see myself as being much fun in that kind of environment.”

Ah, there it is. ‘They;' not ‘we’.

“Come on, it's not like we'd leave you behind. Even through the bumpy beginning, you've come through for us in the end. You're a part of the team, even if some people are slow to accept it.”

Pointedly, you stare at the door Ryuji walked out of. “Besides, it'd be a dick move to forget how useful Robin Hood has been to us. I wish I had an ability half as good as debilitate.”

You fiddle with the blankets covering your body, feeling their thinness against your fingers. “It's like… I don't know. Akira seems to get more use of your persona than anyone else's. Maybe it was kind of reckless or stupid or whatever, but I just thought that out of the two of us, you were probably more useful, and like, reliable or something.”

You look up. There's a fan there that you didn't notice before, rotating about too slowly to give off any real breeze. “I kind of hope you change your mind about the Phantom Thieves, although it feels like too much to hope for.”

Akechi shifts beside you, and the creaking of the chair gives him away.

“But even if we disagree on our ideas of justice, I think… we both mean well. We both want what's best. Obviously, I felt that was worth risking my life for, cause even though I said it was a stupid decision, I don't think I'd change it.”

There is something a little self conscious in the way you rub your arm. The whole conversation feels vulnerable. You try to make a joke out of it. “Besides, my persona’s defences are jacked. I kind of assumed I could tank it.” You turn back to him with the sole, express purpose of giving him a supportive smile.

You don't expect what you see. From in between thick curtains of hair, Akechi has tears in his eyes. He's just looking at you, and you've got no idea what to say. You stare in shock, and he stares back.

“You - “ he starts, but never finishes, because the only thing he wants to say involves a long winded confession on  **everything** , and he just can't.

So he grabs your hand again, presses it against his face in a gesture so intimate you get anxious of Ryuji walking in on it, and just cries. He sobs, and it's definitely not part of his TV expression. “Thank you,” he mutters, in between sobs, and cries into your hand.

“Erm, it's no problem,” you say, because you're not sure what else you _can_ say. You don't even know what triggered a reaction this intense.

“I -” he begins again, and looks you in the eyes. He's still holding onto your hand, and his tongue feels like it's standing on the edge of a precipice, where one more step could send him tumbling off.  _What would he even say were he to speak?_

_“I'm a liar.”_

_“I've never wanted justice.”_

_“I don't deserve you._ **_”_ **

They all feel wrong.

_“_ _I love you, even if it pains me. It kills me whenever Ryuji touches you. Please let me touch you. Please appreciate me. Acknowledge me. Rely on me. Trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me--”_

“Am I interrupting something?” Ryuji cuts in. He's leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed in a pose that can't be understood as anything less than aggressive.

Suddenly, everything falls apart.

Akechi stares at him. You belong to someone, he reminds himself. It's a happy relationship. Not only would he have to destroy that to get what he wants, but he'd have to keep you for himself; lock you up somewhere where you would never be as happy as you are now.

“Hey man, are you crying?” Ryuji straightens his posture and stops leaning on the frame of the door. He looks concerned now. “Uh, they're - they're alright you know. You don't need to cry.”

Akechi lets go of your hand to wipe his tears.

“No, not at all,” Akechi says. “I was just expressing my gratitude.”

His feelings towards you are a burden, and so is everything he is. Even you only sympathise with him because you don't know him. You don't know who he is, what he's done. Akechi adjusts his gloves, pulls them further up his wrists. This will all be over soon.

He turns to Ryuji, and gives a polite bow. “Thank you for letting me over, Ryuji,” he says, then he turns to you.

Again, sentences flash through his head like mismatched jigsaw pieces, all too specific, too wordy, both too true and yet not true enough.

 _'Thank you for your sacrifice,'_  he considers saying (but doesn't), 'your _kindness, sympathy, everything. Thank you for everything.'_

Truthfully, Akechi doesn't feel grateful. He hates you for giving him something just short of what he really needs, and reminding him that being wanted will always be out of reach until he succeeds and proves everyone wrong.

“Thank you again,” is all he says.

You and Ryuji watch him leave. The clack of his shoes on the hospital floor sounds determined in an odd way, like he's realised something important.

Ryuji looks at you, and shrugs.

**Author's Note:**

> me: let's write some happy goro fluff  
> my brain: too ooc
> 
> if you enjoyed this and have a Tumblr, you might want to send in requests to @no-mo-rules.


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